shizukasa
by lilkyonkyon
Summary: He was forever held to this tribe. That was the way things were. Spoilers for book 19. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Samurai Deeper Kyo series, nor do I own the characters. I also don't own the haiku below.

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**shizukasa**

_Tranquility—_

_In the depths of the lake_

_Billowing clouds_

_- - Kobayashi Issa_

The lake was a sheet of glass; undisturbed by the whispers of war in the outside world. Shinrei lay beside it, watching the clouds pass him by up above, the grass caressing his face. His hair was matted with blood, his shirt was stained with red, yet he felt oddly at peace, as tranquil as the water beside him.

Nothing seemed to be moving, nothing stirred around him—like he had suddenly been swallowed by the wind. He felt as if he could drift away. He felt as if he could fly.

And yet everything seemed so distant, so unreachable. Arduously, he lifted his arm and stretched, trying to snag a cloud to carry him far from this place, but he wearily dropped it to his side. There was no point. His place was here, in Mibu.

It didn't hurt him to think this. He had grown so accustomed to the sting, it never bothered him. In fact, it had been a long time since he had even entertained the idea of leaving. Whenever he had mentioned the outside world, he had been punished.

That had been his mistake today, the reason he was lying, bloody and worn, by the lake. He had asked to go in his brother's place to the outside world.

His half-brother, really. Keikoku, one of the five. He had been ordered to the outside world on a mission, but the idea frightened Shinrei. Would his brother be hurt or in danger? He had heard the outside world was very different, that honor meant nothing. He could not imagine his brother surviving well in a place like that.

A breeze swelled above him, upsetting the water's surface. He forced his eyes closed, pushing his troubles away. It was too calm to worry now.

"Hey."

Shinrei opened his eyes to find a pair of yellow ones gazing down at him.

"Keikoku-san, what are you doing here?" he gasped, heaving himself into a sitting position. "I thought you were leaving."

"I am," he said slowly. "I was on my way out when I saw you here. Why are you bleeding? Were you in a fight?"

"I… yes." Shinrei decided to omit the details of his encounter, and Keikoku didn't ask for any. He merely bent down lower, examining the cuts and bruising on Shinrei's face and arms.

"You should practice more," he blandly admonished. Leisurely, he padded over to the side of the lake and dipped his hands in to catch some water, then he trickled the liquid on Shinrei's head, making sure to wash the blood out of his hair and off of his countenance. He repeated the process with his arms and chest silently, while Shinrei merely watched, curious.

No one had ever come to help him like this before. He had to teach himself how to dress wounds by watching some of his mentors perform treatments, yet his brother was helping him as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Keikoku was free to do so, Shinrei decided. No one was holding him back. No one could. When he was younger, Shinrei often observed his brother at a distance. The boy trained and such, but most of his time was spent wandering through Mibu, watching the world meander by with dull eyes. A cloud such as him could not be caught by anyone; he floated in the sky, just out of reach, lazily drifting from one place to the next.

Shinrei felt so heavy in comparison. Water always returned to the earth as if bound to it, as he always returned to the Mibu. He was forever held to this tribe. That was the way things were.

And suddenly, the sting was back, hitting Shinrei in the chest. He doubled over and hissed at the pain, while his half-brother anxiously asked, "Did I hurt you?"

With a few calming breaths, he was back to normal. His even voice replied, "No, it was nothing."

Keikoku never mentioned it again.

After the wounds were cleaned, he began to gently dress them with spare cloth he had in his knapsack, taking care to rub a soothing ointment on before wrapping and sealing them. "The lake looks like the sky," he stated blandly, tightening the bandages.

Shinrei glanced at the deep pool before him and took in the sight with different eyes. The water somehow did resemble the sky—the same crisp color reflected in the lake's depth, the same clouds billowing deeper into the water. And here they were, two brothers caught in the middle of two separate heavens.

"That should be enough," Keikoku suddenly announced.

Nodding an affirmative, Shinrei examined the expert bandages on his chest and arms. "Thank you," he said simply.

"It was nothing."

A silence enveloped them, the silence of the lake and the sky. Both of them unconsciously sat back, absorbing the peaceable scenery with empty eyes. It may have been a minute later, or an hour, when Keikoku finally rose.

"I'll be back to settle the score when I'm stronger." He glanced down with a fleeting smirk. "Take care of yourself, Shinrei-san."

The words sounded so strange, so foreign, coming from this boy who hardly knew him. Shinrei's eyes unwittingly turned to his brother's face and he asked honestly, "Why do you care what happens to me?"

Keikoku lazily returned his gaze, his eyes masked. Finally, he said, "Well… we're friends, right?"

Friends?

Shinrei found himself smiling, tranquilly.

"Of course, Keikoku-san. Get stronger. We will face each other when the time is right."

His brother nodded and took his leave, drifting away to the outside. The grass did not stir around his feet. He left as silently as he had come, leaving no trace of his presence.

Somewhere inside of him, Shinrei felt glad. A part of him was free, he decided, as long as his brother was alive. He allowed himself to lay back down, savoring the strokes of the grass and the whispering breeze that kissed his face.

And he imagined that he, too, was a deep pool of water, reflecting the heavens and peacefully waiting for the day that he could join the clouds in the sky.

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As I understand it, the word "shizukasa" in Japanese suggests a profound peace. It is usually translated as words like serenity, tranquility, stillness, quiet, calm, and the like. All of these things combined into one moment create something powerful — something unforgettable. I wanted Shinrei and Hotaru (Keikoku) to share this. 


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